Tall Stories: Expecting Someone Taller and Ye Gods! by Tom Holt
01/03/2005 . Source: Laura Kayne 

pub: Orbit/Times Warner. 568 page enlarged paperback. Price: £ 8.99 (UK), $21.00 (CAN). ISBN: 0-84149-345-7.

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This is the fifth omnibus edition of Holt's tales, containing 'Expecting Someone Taller' and 'Ye Gods'. The two, both entertaining and incredibly funny individually, are complimented by each other, being similar in tone and topic - gods and myths. Always a ripe source for writers, Holt delivers a unique take on what happens when, firstly, humans meddle in the affairs of the gods and secondly, when the gods meddle in the affairs of humans.



'Expecting Someone Taller' is the story of Malcolm Fisher, an ordinary guy from Somerset who is always unfavourably compared to his sister. He has the misfortune one day of running over a badger. The badger just happens to be Ingolf, the last of the Giants in disguise and with his death, Malcolm inherits two gifts which will make him ruler of the world, one of which is the Ring (as in Wagner, not Tolkien). Which is not without its problems.

Now he may be able to become anyone, travel anywhere, hear people's thoughts and conjure gold goblets out of thin air, but what is the use of that if he is going to be accused of stealing the gold, can't listen to his own thoughts and so still gets confused. If looking like someone else doesn't change who he is inside and if he has to be forever happy in order that the rest of the world is happy? Throw in a complicated love life, a secretary who gets on his nerves and being chased by Wotan, King of the Gods, the Valkyries and the Rhinedaughters (the original makers of the Ring) and Malcolm soon begins to wish he had never stopped to check on that badger.

'Expecting Someone Taller' is fun and witty. Holt has obviously done his research into Wotan and the Valkyries and inserts them into our world and Malcolm into theirs with a blunt matter-of-factness that is extremely clever. The reader has to acknowledge the fact that Malcolm Fisher would be highly unlikely to inherit a magic ring and would, of course, have trouble adjusting the fact that he is now in charge of the whole world. However, it does not seem a wild leap of faith within Holt's universe that such a thing could and does happen. Malcolm and the others are well-drawn characters - perfectly human even when some of them are gods. Holt also cleverly inserts in-jokes and pieces of theological and mythical detail, meaning this may appeal to different people on different levels.

'Ye Gods' actually appealed more to me, personally, than did 'Expecting Someone Taller'. It has the same witty finesse, the same clever details and flawed characters. Somehow it is also more sophisticated. In this tale, the reader meets Jason Derry, Hero and son of the god Jupiter. In between quests, he has to put up with his overbearing mother, the annoying girl next door and the problems that stem from not having enough food with him and from being separated from George, his assistant. He soon learns that these are not the end of his problems.

Watching over Jason are the gods. Since people stopped believing in them they have taken up residence in the sun, where they play a game with people's lives, squabble among themselves and keep an eye on traitors such as Prometheus. It is revealed that Prometheus not only stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans, but he also gave them the gift of humour by telling them the First Joke. This is the real reason why the gods have kept Prometheus chained to a mountain for millennia. For it is only with humour that humans were able to see how ridiculous the belief in gods was and promptly stopped believing in them. Now, Jupiter has decided to destroy the world and relocate to an alternative dimension where the Joke was never told and the gods still rule. There is only one entity able to defeat him - the god who first created humour (known as Thing) and he needs a Hero to help him.

'Ye Gods' is well-paced, very funny and well-written. Again, Holt's research and attention to detail shows and the very idea of a Hero who is afraid of his housewife mother and who has to be back from his quests in time for tea is original and entertaining. But it is Jason's humanity that in the end makes him a real hero, even it is fated. Holt deserves to be placed alongside Terry Pratchett and Robert Rankin for wit and surrealism and anyone who reads this volume would surely have to agree that a controlling and dangerous force in the universe is indeed humour.

Laura Kayne