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Alien 2 On Earth

01/05/2011. Contributed by Rod MacDonald

Buy Alien 2 On Earth (1980) in the USA - or Buy Alien 2 On Earth (1980) in the UK

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region 2 DVD: pub: Midnight Legacy B004UOW4TC. 92 minute film with a couple extras. Price: GBP14.99 (UK)) stars: Belinda Mayne and Mark Bodin.

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This DVD arrived not as a review copy but as the actual item for sale. I wish other production companies would do the same instead of supplying review copies which don't do justice to the finished product. It was very presentable in a nice glossy sleeve, a professional finish on appearances. Looking forward to watching this DVD, I anticipated something commensurate with the cover. Unfortunately, the result was rather different. Undoubtedly, this is the worst movie I have ever watched in my entire life. Life is too precious to waste 90 minutes on such rubbish! Let me explain why.

This movie is an Italian production made in 1980 and shot in San Diego, California. It has dubbed voices and an absolutely chronic musical score. Everything suggests cheap and tacky. Surprisingly, it was never released but somehow a copy was obtained from Europe from an old videotape and this was transposed to DVD to make this offering. The reproduction leaves a lot to be desired.

The title suggests that there was an Alien 1. Well, there was. You may remember that ‘Alien’ with Sigourney Weaver appeared in 1979 but this has absolutely no connection with that movie! ‘Alien 2 On Earth’ was a blatant attempt to latch on to the success of ‘Alien’ in order to make a quick couple of dollars in the process but not to be confused with ‘Aliens’ which was released in 1986, six years later. The venture was completely unsuccessful. Now, it has been dredged up from the depths of depravity to be released as a DVD on the unsuspecting public. However, please take note. This product is a complete disaster!

I don't know who wrote the script and I don't really want to know. Leaving that aside, it's all about rocks. I think meteors have landed on Earth. Out of them comes some sort of red rubbery stuff which rips up the victim, eventually making them disappear. There is some sort of connection to the landing of a space capsule which seems to go wrong. A little child at the seashore has her face chewed up but was still able to scream, a young woman undergoes an interview on TV but takes a funny turn and has to lie down for a while.

Acting is non-existent. There are lots of scenes where nothing happens other than vehicles moving along a road with the horrible music in the background. Characters are introduced but they disappear without trace. Cheapness is abundant in every corner that's taken.

Regardless, a group of young people go to underground caverns somewhere in California. The reason for this is not explained. Anyway, they proceed to be devoured by the rocks. Special effects are so awful that they need to be watched to be appreciated in their entirety. Of course, most of them disappear. At one point, one of the actors damages his leg and can't move but this doesn't stop him from running like the devil a couple of minutes later. The ending scenes shot in a bowling alley are something to be believed and the inane screaming of the last remaining character completely sets this movie up as the worst movie of all time.

Now, you would imagine that I am not going to recommend this DVD. Perhaps something in the above review would suggest that. Nonetheless, this is so bad that it is actually good. Don't pay too much but if you want a good laugh and the experience of seeing definitely the worst movie ever, 10 times worse than ‘Paranormal Experience’, then you've got to go for this. Masochistic perhaps but everything else you watch will appear that much better.

Rod MacDonald

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