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SciFi Soccer
01/07/2006 . Source: Geoff Willmetts 
Given the choice between football and watching paint dry, says Uncle Geoff, he goes for the latter. Seeing a tiny air bubble burst makes his day. Correction: make that slow-drying paint just to make it more exciting. Hello everyone
Above is my reaction to a certain sport that is swamping the TV channels at the moment. Saying I have lack of interest is putting it mildly.
Last month, we established most of us are reasonably adjusted or if a tad crazy not exactly with murder on our minds. So this month, let's look at one thing most of us actually have in common outside of the actual genres of Science Fiction, horror and fantasy: a singular lacking if not dislike for many sports events. The easiest question to ask is what have you been doing the past couple weeks?
I could just as ask how many of you have been digging into your DVD collections or reading books - remember, if you live in the British Isles to read about reviewers required at the end of the editorial - to pass the time away as the media goes mad over sport this side of the pond, specifically football for the past month. If that doesn't clog up the television channels, then the secondary sports like cricket and tennis will no doubt do for the rest. Dunno about people in other parts of the world, but this world cup malarkey is going to have most of us genre fans looking elsewhere during this time for something a tad more exciting or stimulating. It isn't that I begrudge sports fans their interest just the blanket coverage that wipes out any regular TV programmes.
Thing is, though, it makes our so-called 'obsession' look mild in comparison. I mean, do we all go around looking the same parading football shirts, wearing national flags, wear patriotic make-up, etc. All right, so maybe some of the SF media fans will go a little more extreme on a regular basis but overall, it's the minority rather than majority of us. If anything, there are similarities of how obsession hits us all and then some wild deviations that allows us to know we have nothing in common. The only thing that differentiates us from them is we don't congregate in stadiums or have regular multi-pages in national newspapers and TV exposure. If anything, it's more a stamp on patriotism support than hitting a ball in a net.
I've always put the major differences and lack of interest in sports back at school. When it came to physical education, I doubt if any of us reading here were any good at game sports so got shunted into defence and just stood and shivered, loosing interest. No wonder we turned into outsiders. It didn't necessarily follow that all lousy sports players turned into SF fans, just the ones who could at least daydream something might be better to do with our time and imaginations. No doubt there was some sort of intellectual or creative flair that drove us but it gave something infinitely more interesting to do rather than watching a ball going into a net. I mean, just how many ways can a ball go into a net be original or as exciting as the discovery of a new book? I also had satisfaction realising that academic qualification would get me further than an interest in sport at an early age and focused my attention there.
Mind you, is it any wonder how we managed to escape our country's biggest obsession with something a little more specialised: Science Fiction. Our own private obsession. A better one, mind you, but that's beside the point, it has a lot more going for it. An interest in the sciences. Knowledge. The future. Speculative thinking. No technological shock. A healthy desire to use a computer, especially when technology caught up with us. Those of us who are really obsessive can even write Science Fiction.
It might be a different sort of obsession but it is devoid of potential violence, devotion to alcohol (depending who you chat to) and chatter which would make our nearby cousins, the chimpanzees, seem intellectual geniuses compared to the football fan. Sport doesn't change the world but we've seen the effects of Science Fiction become real. If there is an obsession that we can be proud of, then it has to Science Fiction. How can twenty-five people running around a pitch compete with that? It's so dull in comparison and doesn't last. They'll go away and come back again in another four years as if nothing happened the last time. Whereas my SF collection is a testament to my interest in diversity and hope for the world. There is no competition.
It might be a mistake to say I prefer to watch paint dry. I'll keep half an eye on it to spot the odd bubble burst and read a book or watch a DVD at the same time. Must keep an eye on what is really important.
Thank you, take care, good night and be safe
Geoff Willmetts
editor: SFCrowsnest.co.uk
Serious Thought For the Month: Isn't it about time that Stargate Command was shown and established to have some British teams being allowed out amongst the stars? Hardly a fitting testimony that we, America's closest allies, are being kept out unless they fear we do better than their lead team. It isn't as though we don't speak the English language favoured by the human residents on other planets.
(Less Serious) Thought For The Month # 1: If you want to throw confusion, ask football fans how can the TV channels have they're schedules sorted out already unless they know they know the results already.
(Less Serious) Thought For The Month # 2: Just in case the tennis fans need something to think about, ask why there are no mixed singles matches? Are the men afraid to come out second best all the time?
A real Zen thought::Many if not most questions don't have single answers.
A real Zen thought for everyone and how to offend all ladies in one go:.A dumb blonde might just be a brunette in disguise
A real Zen thought for potential writers: If you can express an opinion independently of others and aren't likely to bend to the masses then you might show potential as a writer.
BOOK REVIEWS PS Do you love Science Fiction, horror or fantasy books? Do you read? Think or can you write? Maybe even write well? Then read on...you maybe what we need... If you've survived this far in the editorial, let me reiterate something from the website newsletter and the above editorial. As you can see from the main page, we have one of the biggest SF/fantasy/horror monthly reviews columns on the Net. Our success has increased the number of books that comes in and our policy is to read everything before giving a review. You want the bottom line about what you're going to choose to read. We roadtest books so you have some idea of what you're letting yourself in for. That means we need people actually willing to read the book and tell others what they think in reviews. For that, we're always on the outlook for more reviewers. Do you think you have what it takes to review a book? It's a skill that can be easily mastered and we need a few more. Apart from the ability to put words into sentences, you also need to know how to précis, do a little research on associated subjects and can express opinions constructively about the good and bad points about the books you read. We even let you choose from our pile of received books rather than foster something on you that you wouldn't normally read. You'll even get a little editorial help in how to write good copy and that can always lead to other things. I did say you have to love books and willing to read beyond your favourite authors, didn't I? If you like reading books in the genre, can really think and show you can write a decent review and, most importantly, live in the British Isles (sorry, expense, time and distance travelled mostly prohibits elsewhere), then use the link below and see our requirements. We can't pay you but a review for the price and regular supply of new books, this has to be a good incentive. We have one of the most popular and biggest SF review columns on the Net. Do you think you're up to writing a review? If you think you can, then you're really going to think you've landed your hands in the biscuit tin. It won't hurt to try and see if you have the right stuff. Look up the Review Guidelines:
WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN CONTRIBUTORS AND WRITING GENERALLY
PPS: For those keeping track, I'm still about 22 months (early August 2004) behind. No, I haven't been working my way through them any faster, samples just eased off a little per month. With going through the ebook samples, I have removed some who've gotten published elsewhere. Thank you for your patience but let me know if you've sold elsewhere so I can reduce my pile or if you've changed address, especially e-mail address. I can't give you my comments unless either is up to date. Currently, doing spot-checks to see if you're still there when I reach your sample in the pile is making it easier on my time and catching up on the slush pile. This isn't much of a repeat, just to show you're not forgotten. Those sending in ebook samples, be prepared for a long wait and read the Guidelines elsewhere on this website They are there to help you do some of the right things and reduce the number of times I'm repeating myself over silly grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that you shouldn't be making. It makes editing a lot easier if any editor has less work pointing out poor English which should have been sorted out in the first place and more focused on other areas of your work. As a writer, it is your command of the English language and its grammar that will show how serious you are about writing.
NOVEL-LENGTH AND OTHER WRITING
General advice for those who want to become writers of any sort: There's an old editorial adage, if you can't aim for perfection why should an editor nurse-maid you to that state? If you're a writer, then you should understand the words, sentences and grammar of the job you're supposed to be writing or are you considering it as mundane and boring as any other job to get right? Fall in love with making every sentence the best you're ever written, read up and understand the rules of grammar. Put the time in researching any subject you're using in the story. Be prepared to put a story away for a few weeks and go back to it for a self-edit. Even I do that. A lot of the time, errors will just stare you in the face when you didn't see them the first time round. Once you know where your weaknesses are, they can be sorted out and allow you to move a little higher up the ladder towards making your material look its best. Look up the Common Problems Link:
SHORT STORY SLUSH PILE
Please don't confuse the above link with my short story slush pile which is kinda low at the moment. We're always willing to give short story writers a chance to be seen if they can withstand my scrutiny even if we can't pay for their efforts, your material will be seen by a lot of people. If you can get a short story written well then it'll make it easier to move up to novel length. Look up the Short Stories Link:
FLASH OR ONE-PAGE FICTION
Don't forget also, we've got a teaching ground of one page stories, so check out the rules elsewhere on the website. Flash fiction stories link:
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