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The ones who get left behind
01/10/2006 . Source: Geoff Willmetts 
Thanks to everyone contacting me who contacted me last month after my editorial about my Mum who died in August. It really must have struck a nerve far more than my usual editorials so hope I can be excused something on a similar topic covering the aspect of grief and how it affects people. Hello everyone
Thanks to everyone contacting me who contacted me last month after my editorial about my Mum who died in August. It really must have struck a nerve far more than my usual editorials so hope I can be excused something on a similar topic covering the aspect of grief and how it affects people.
We share grief of some sort all our lives. How deep it hits depends on who it is and how it affects you. From family and friends to famous people you might like right through to even the end, sometimes prematurely, of SF TV programmes you enjoyed. I often wonder with the latter if the success of SF TV series tie-ins has more to do with getting the fix of the characters and reality irrespective of whether its canon or not. The ability to just let go is never easy. No doubt there is a connection to having something that you are familiar with being swept away which no doubt relates to the effect when a nearest and dearest has died.
The traditional motions of grief tend to follow similar patterns of anger, guilt over not doing more, intense loss and loneliness. It's a wrench in your life and a massive change in how things have been done for so many years. If anything it's a wealth of emotions that because we are not used to getting all at the same time that it overwhelms and gets defined as 'grief'. An emotional trap that can despairingly feels like the biggest black hole in the world and takes a long while to work out of your system and to move on with your life. As such, as we get older, regardless of who we are, there can be a shared bond of knowing what it is like and a sharp reminder of our own potential mortality as well. How we all cope depends a lot on how close we were as well as well as our personal mindsets. There is no set definition for grief or how long it takes to get over it let alone how it affects individual people.
The worse thing that can happen is if you just bottle it up inside. Like anything volatile, it can then explode with unforeseen consequences. It is better to release the emotion or, as in my case, an expression of words. Many of the emails I had expressed sympathy simply because they themselves had been through similar close affinity experiences and reconciling themselves to how they themselves felt. If you felt the same, then it is a shared emotion that needs some extra words.
Death will always leave survivors who are left behind. It can't bring back loved ones but only inspire those of us left to ensure the next generation that there is something here worth living for. If we can live up to such expectations then I'm sure our parents will be proud.
Thank you, take care, good night and be safe
Geoff Willmetts
editor: SFCrowsnest.co.uk
On a serious note of dumb decisions: I saw an advent calendar populated by Daleks out this month for the coming Yuletide. This is practically an equivalent of having Hitler on a Jewish calendar. It doesn't matter if you have a Christian faith or not but it certainly makes me mark up this as in bad taste.
Cheery note: Treat each day as your last. At least that way you can always have a good time.
A real Zen thought::I always evaluate what I'm told based on what I know about the person who tells me ie eg someone who is very antsy about hospitals and medical matters is likely to exaggerate in proportion to their own fears. The same also applies to self based on how you regard your own reaction to things.
A real Zen thought for potential writers: If you can express an opinion independently of others and aren't likely to bend to the masses then you might show potential as a writer.
BOOK REVIEWS
PS Do you love Science Fiction, horror or fantasy books? Do you read? Able to string words into sentences? Then read on...you maybe what we need...
If you've survived this far in the editorial, let me reiterate something from the website newsletter and the above editorial. As you can see from the main page, we have one of the biggest SF/fantasy/horror monthly reviews columns on the Net. Our success has increased the number of books that comes in and our policy is to read everything before giving a review. You want the bottom line about what you're going to choose to read. We roadtest books so you have some idea of what you're letting yourself in for. That means we need people actually willing to read the book and tell others what they think in reviews. For that, we're always on the outlook for more reviewers. Do you think you have what it takes to review a book? It's a skill that can be easily mastered and we need a few more.
Apart from the ability to put words into sentences, you also need to know how to précis, do a little research on associated subjects and can express opinions constructively about the good and bad points about the books you read. We even let you choose from our pile of received books rather than foster something on you that you wouldn't normally read. You'll even get a little editorial help in how to write good copy and that can always lead to other things. I did say you have to love books and willing to read beyond your favourite authors, didn't I?
If you like reading books in the genre, can really think and show you can write a decent review and, most importantly, live in the British Isles (sorry, expense, time and distance travelled mostly prohibits elsewhere), then use the link below and see our requirements. We can't pay you but a review for the price and regular supply of new books, this has to be a good incentive.
We have one of the most popular and biggest SF review columns on the Net. Do you think you're up to writing a review? If you think you can, then you're really going to think you've landed your hands in the biscuit tin. It won't hurt to try and see if you have the right stuff. Look up the Review Guidelines:
WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN CONTRIBUTORS AND WRITING GENERALLY
PPS: For those keeping track, I'm still about 24 months (late October 2004) behind. With going through the ebook samples, I have removed some who've gotten published elsewhere. Thank you for your patience but let me know if you've sold elsewhere so I can reduce my pile or if you've changed address, especially e-mail address. I can't give you my comments unless either is up to date. Currently, doing spot-checks to see if you're still there when I reach your sample in the pile is making it easier on my time and catching up on the slush pile. This isn't much of a repeat, just to show you're not forgotten. Those sending in ebook samples, be prepared for a long wait and read the Guidelines with your mouse here: elsewhere on this website They are there to help you do some of the right things and reduce the number of times I'm repeating myself over silly grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that you shouldn't be making. It makes editing a lot easier if any editor has less work pointing out poor English which should have been sorted out in the first place and more focused on other areas of your work. As a writer, it is your command of the English language and its grammar that will show how serious you are about writing.
NOVEL-LENGTH AND OTHER WRITING
General advice for those who want to become writers of any sort: There's an old editorial adage, if you can't aim for perfection why should an editor nurse-maid you to that state? If you're a writer, then you should understand the words, sentences and grammar of the job you're supposed to be writing or are you considering it as mundane and boring as any other job to get right? Fall in love with making every sentence the best you're ever written, read up and understand the rules of grammar. Put the time in researching any subject you're using in the story. Be prepared to put a story away for a few weeks and go back to it for a self-edit. Even I do that. A lot of the time, errors will just stare you in the face when you didn't see them the first time round. Once you know where your weaknesses are, they can be sorted out and allow you to move a little higher up the ladder towards making your material look its best. Look up the Common Problems Link with your mouse here:
SHORT STORY SLUSH PILE
Please don't confuse the above link with my short story slush pile which is kinda low at the moment. We're always willing to give short story writers a chance to be seen if they can withstand my scrutiny even if we can't pay for their efforts, your material will be seen by a lot of people. If you can get a short story written well then it'll make it easier to move up to novel length. Look up the Short Stories Link with your mouse here
FLASH OR ONE-PAGE FICTION
Don't forget also, we've got a teaching ground of one page stories, so check out the rules elsewhere on the website. Flash fiction stories link : with your mouse here.
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