A new work of short(ish) science fiction by our editor GF Willmetts. Alien tourism in the future is just as tricky as today.

‘Yes, sir, we’ve had many gods in the past. Some of their temples are still available to view. We went mono-deity a couple centuries back but aren’t even sure about who’s almighty any more given the number of alien religions we’ve encountered putting claim to being having the only one god in their image. The only problem we have is how we worship so as not to offend anyone else. That’s caused more wars than anything else. I am aware of the repetition in the last two sentences but I did say ‘anyone’ and ‘anything’ these are two different words, the first being a particular and the second a multitude. Be careful with Sabbaths and Ramadan. They aren’t listed in the traditional seven day week or calendar months but they are there and can upset some people if you don’t respect them. Thank you.’



Laurencia Hope studied the translator pad closely for the next multi-question. This alien whateveritwas tended to ask questions in blocks. The translator could make sense of their language but couldn’t translate back. Better to give sufficient information than abridged versions which would end up with more block questions. At least the alien whateveritwas could make sense of her spoken word which was an advantage over some alien tourists. Maybe it had a superior translator device if it could make sense of syntax and metaphor. All she could do was answer the questions that she thought she was being asked and hope there was no hidden meanings.

‘You wish to invade this world? Frankly, sir, we couldn’t care less. Someone else to take over the economy and we do have an enormous debt so you’re quite welcome to it providing you can afford the price and don’t interfere with the indigenous life-forms which includes my own sentient native species. You should talk to my associate, James Axa, over there and he’ll give you the paperwork for a bloodless but expensive coup. We can also offer shares in our booming tourist trade. Thank you.’

Jim raised his head and gently shook his head. Not now. Busy as usual. Who wants another kooky alien with delusions of world domination only to fall short when his government wouldn’t back him up let alone have the finance.

Anyway Jim was up to his butt, deep in discussion with another alien species that looked like a pile of cockroaches one on top of the other. From what she heard of the conversation they didn’t believe that the native cockroach was only a Level 1 intelligence and would probably eat them for dinner if they hung around in the wrong joints. Neweryork would welcome them with open arms or possible legs and leave them only their carapaces. Not a way to greet a new tourist alien species, especially as cockroaches had been given sentient status and left well alone now. Maybe they should have a desk at Alien Hall?

Her alien whateveritwas didn’t seem that interested in buying or investing in the world after all. Laurencia shrugged. They were beginning to look all alike to her anyway. Under whatever they called skin, they always asked the same sort of questions especially when they couldn’t read the guidebooks but loved the pictures. Mind you, that’s probably all they saw from the broadcasts out in the ether given that light travelled faster than sound. Few had the capacity to match the two up, let alone to the same shows. Many just thought humans didn’t speak or mimed. Some had even thought humans were deaf and learnt the sign language that accompanied some broadcasts. That was an interesting one, especially when the alien species had multiple arms. All praise digital and that later broadcasts would be more in signal sync but many alien species came from far out and hadn’t received the up-to-date broadcasts or travelled too fast to pick them up. Maybe that’s why it was changed? From all accounts any nearby aliens hadn’t reached the space age yet. Even when they arrived, most would stay in orbit catching up on all the long-running programmes before coming down for a personal visit.

‘Leaving a mucus deposit will suggest you have a cold and it would be recommended you carry either a reciprocal of your own or purchase a supply of tissues or a bucket from our stores. Thank you.’

One day they would find a fiscally wealthy alien species and cease to be a tourist planet and their idea of a conglomerate. Mind you, if that happened she’d be out of a job if they didn’t want tourists.

‘You should be aware, sir, we are not world-beaters contrary to the TV signals you have picked up on your trip here. Captain Kirk is a fiction and doesn’t come from Iowa no matter what our natives there think they are celebrating. Any alliances seen on TV are with other worlds is mostly conjecture depending on how big a threat your species represents to us. Members of such fiction races are available to be met in a place called Hollywood in Californiestate, directly behind that large sign that acknowledges its presence. It is about as real as Silicon Valley in that the name advertises the product not what the place is made of. Silicon Valley is not where we grow plastic tits but the home of computer technology. If you wish to see real holly you would need to visit countries of a more temperate temperature in Canada or Northern Europe. Hollywood the place doesn’t come in forests. Those are fir trees. If you want to see granulated silicon oxide, the beaches on the edge of our oceans are very accommodating and if you are allergic to direct sunlight you might need to use one of our many sun-block ranges. ‘Kiss Me Quick’ hats does not imply we will kiss your fingernails should you have any. Thank you.’

Why would any alien want to come to visit Earth anyway? Just because TV signals have gotten over five hundred light years distant we ended up attracting mostly the media geeks who gotten off on our shows and couldn’t tell the difference between fiction and reality and no ambassadors seeking interplanetary relations. Earth just looked like a happening place. Merchandising was making a mint from the various ads and televised material but with inflation it was barely keeping even with the national debt. Maybe we should encourage them to come in bigger ships? One or two aliens from different planets was hardly a big trade. Then again, a generation ship would probably swamp us.

Sightseeing questions depended on how much they watched on the trip, how much they wanted to learn and more importantly how much money they had to spend. At least they recognised the common currency of gold, jewels and tech for local currency and they often paid well. Probably because it was cheap currency to them as much as DVD and their players were an excellent currency to trade back with. Watch the shows like the natives and we’ll even include extras not seen out in space. They bought our creative junk. At least they didn’t try selling us any of their own.

Invasions and such of other worlds had to be explained as fiction in contrary to the real various wars on-world and such that really happened. It didn’t make much difference to the aliens cos they couldn’t tell the difference. They really thought Earth had a Starfleet out there ready to come in at a moment’s notice to come to the rescue or some apparently omnipotent Time Lord who could stop invasions on his own. If nothing else, it kept the alien military fleets at bay or at least that’s why none have never turned up in the neighbourhood. Shame really. They might not be here to conquer but think of the money from tourism if some were allowed shore leave.

‘The picking up of hot babes as you describe it can be done in your own leisure time, sir, and if they desire your company. I should point out that we have no proven sexual compatibility to any alien species that have visited our planet. No, I am not on offer to find out. Placing your hand or tentacle on my knee risks the loss of such an appendage. Thank you.’

Whether they believed that or not didn’t make any difference. The confusion between fiction and reality tended to make any geek alien think twice before committing to war let alone personal assaults or attacks. Maybe some of the victories looked like species they’d rather avoid and gave respect? Equally, most were natural tourists happy not to offend once they knew the local etiquette, hence her job.

Would they really get their money’s worth by taking over terra firma? Maybe without a population...and that was something we always looked out for.

‘You wish to meet some serious terrorists? I should point out that terrorists should not be confused with tourists unless you summer holiday on some Mediterranean islands. Most terrorists think they are serious and the more xenophobic ones may attack and possibly kill you. We cannot dictate their choice and we would prefer any reprisals after they attack you first than pre-emptive strikes which only show how powerful you are. We take no liability if they try to blow you up or take pot-shots to test any personal force field you might own. Being held for ransom is purely arbitrary and we can put no pressure on your relatives or world to pay any gratuity. We have a policy that restricts any local or world government from paying a ransom in any circumstance. You would also miss the opportunity to see the various other more pleasant landmarks on our planet which you have come a long way to see first hand or tentacle...’

‘Hello, Laurencia.’

‘...thank you.’


There are times in this job when seeing a normal human face can raise the spirit more than greeting every oddball alien that comes for a holiday on Earth. He might be a supervisor but wasn’t directly connected to my job so socialising is permissible even if he hasn’t tried to get in my pants yet.


Play hard to get and they’ll always keep coming. I wasn’t easy but even he was taking his time.


‘Excuse me,’ Laurencia addressed the alien before looking up to see her beaming Adonis looking over my shoulder.


Johhny Sped is the kinda guy other men would like to be and all other girls wished they’d had. Even Jim looked on enviously and he was definitely hetro. The looks. The suit. The groomed hair. Johhny was even moderately wealthy. Even if she was sharing him with a dozen other girls it was worth it just for the lavish attention it gave when he was with her.


For now, he was all mine, she decided. Well, at least when I finished work.


Laurencia looked at her digital and then at the alien holiday-maker, still not sure what actually constituted a face. The nearest thing to an arm appendage was whatever appeared carrying a translator pad.


‘I’m closing for my lunch break. Humans have to eat periodically and mine is rather late,’ she told him. ‘You can have several choices yourself. Have a break, the cuisine in the alien section canteena should have something that will match your taste. You could read the brochures or have a sleep. Thank you.’

The alien flipped something for non-verbal or other that she thought meant he’s going to take a nap. The bio-med that had been quietly monitoring him for mood indicated he was out for the count.

She looked at Johhny, placed her finger to her lips for him to keep quiet. Even asleep, some aliens were known to still listen and her monitor was still running.

Johhny might be a supervisor but even he could be put over the hot coals for any indiscretion. With his luck, he’d probably get a raise and promotion but never those at the coal-face. Laurencia data-locked her translator pad and slipped it in her bag.

The number of times she’d seen tourists on the streets later made it impractical not to take it with her. Always a missed question and she was seen as the answer lady. Jim raised his eyebrows and smiled as she followed Johhny out the door. He was down for a late lunch. As were many of the folk here.

‘I’ve only got forty mins,’ she told Johhny loudly enough so Jim knew she had an eye on the digital. ‘Mustn’t be late back.’

As they left the building, he asked, ‘Which do you fancy, Laurencia, a meal or a shaggy?’

Finally, he asks for a shaggy but in the middle of the day? After-glow and pheromones would not be a good idea in the Alien Hall. Very forthright of him. Maybe I should remind him I’m not that easy.

‘I’m famished. We can always shaggy tonight. More time anyway. The after-glow confuses the tourists.’

Ain’t that the truth, she thought. I go in coated in pheromones that a quick shower won’t wash off and they think all Earth girls are easy. I blame the scientific fiction where humans will shaggy anyone. Those films and teevee have a lot to answer for.

Johhny seemed disappointed. But only for a moment until the thought of food hit him. More likely, he’d skipped first meal and was as hungry as her.

Still, it’s like he’s second-guessing my choices. Maybe I ought to suggest a shopping trip and get a trinket or three to see how serious he was but right now I really needed to eat. Answering questions all day always built an appetite.

Rather than the office canteena, Johhny took Laurencia over to the very swish Bordoirs where a meal was already waiting.

Had he second-guessed her choice?

No queue-waiting with this man, she decided. He must have bleeped as we crossed the plazza. We were at the trough and eating as the courses came in. Talking was out. Food was in. It was the pleasure of the taste buds from this select cuisine. This was almost as good as shaggy. Almost.

Each had its place and mine was tonight. Lucky me.

Since all these alien tourists started arriving, the world had became a sensory heaven mostly because tactile was something that was universally understood and easily shared. Intellect and communication needed a common background and although translator pads offered the latter, making it mean anything was a lot tougher. More so, that the various aliens wanting to discover how far they could push things. Alien Hall was put there to allow them to discover the boundaries.

Bordoirs had its alien clientele, especially so close to Alien Hall, but was spaced out to give everyone of all shapes and sizes sufficient clearance not to be disturbed while they ate. Some aliens were messy eaters. Others left slime everywhere thinking this was the example given by some film fiction as being an accurate way to behave. Egg laying was forbidden.

‘Do you think that new tourist will have anything new to offer?’ Johhny asked between courses.

‘Haven’t got that far yet,’ Laurencia replied between sips of an exquisite white Chardonnay. ‘He, I think he’s a he, is still asking the basic questions and taking it all in. I think he likes the air.’

‘Not an invader?’

‘Not even a refugee. He asked about thoughts on invasion, but what alien doesn’t? Most are fascinated with the fiction. We could certainly consider selling some real estate sometime even if it’s only to open an embassy. If he goes home and tells his people, we’d have a regular clientele tourist trade but how many times have we been offered that and nothing comes of it? I’d swear it’s the equivalent of the old rich American tourists visiting Europe and that’s all they thought were representative of the country. At least they’re rich geeks. We might have problems understanding them but they understand us. It’s still the usual local customs things they need sorting out.’

‘Indeed.’

Johhny seemed to get very contemplative. Y’know. Not his usual light stuff. Seemed like work was going to get in the way today, asking shop questions. Maybe it was to prevent talking intimate shaggy. Not like we’d do it on the floor. Bordoirs hadn’t got a licence.

‘You got a problem, Johhny?’ she asked between bites.

One thing about my job is you never get afraid to ask anything of anyone.

‘Just wondering why we never seem to get pretty aliens?’

‘Didn’t you see the report last month? Why visit an alien world that looks the same as home? We’re lucky we don’t get methane-breathers. Well, only when reception turned some programmes pea green for a while. When they discovered we were oxygen-breathers they were happy to go elsewhere and leave out warning signs for others of their type. Why did you ask? Humans not exotic enough for you?’

Bang goes my shaggy tonight. Maybe. You never know where such thoughts lead and she refused to dress up like a Klingon fiction for some rough shaggy.

‘There’s lots of reasons. It could work to an alien’s advantage cos his people wouldn’t know where he was. The last place to look scenario.’

‘Even then, just another humanoid amongst other humanoids.’

‘Short of a DNA test.’

‘Or it takes one to spot another one.’

Laurencia looked at her digital. ‘Look at the time. We ought to be going back.’

Johhny slipped his credit finger into the slot and the Bordoirs link read what must be his impressive bank balance. Laurencia downed the last of the Chardonnay.

Waste not, want not.

Walking back across the plazza, they switched to the long way back to the office. A good way to let their digestion do its work and get some refreshing fresh air.

No sense farting in front of the aliens, she decided. They might see it as a sign of affection. Angelliner belched once on the street and had twenty marriage proposals from aliens she’d never met before.

What she needed was a peppermint or maybe a liquorice. Either flavour would be enough to be neutral. Quite why most aliens felt fruity with aniseed or juniper no one knew. Gordygins dropped out of the market when that happened. It was too tecky for most of people but was on the list of checks at immigration to ensure they didn’t kill themselves testing. It made sense to withdraw it altogether than destroy the brisk alien tourism trade.

They stopped at a dispenser and Laurencia selected a peppergum.

Johhny studied the choice but didn’t pick anything. ‘It’s a pity they couldn’t do juniper...especially for tonight.’

‘You just miss Gordygin,’ she said between chews. ‘The sloe version is just as good. Even ouzo is just pure liquorice these days.’

‘I’ve got a bottle of original ouzo,’ Johhny said as casually as if it was a normal occurrence. ‘We could go for a drink now?’

Laurencia shrugged. He was rich enough to afford little luxuries. Not criminal in small doses. Just prohibited to prevent killing visiting aliens.

‘Black market...and you senior management. I have to go back to work. He won’t sleep away the afternoon. I’m also on first break. Let me know next time and I’ll switch with Jim. I could re-arrange my afternoon break into one with it.’

Johhny gave that award-winning smile, ‘Wouldn’t be anything without some perks now, would it, Laurencia?’

She offered Johhny some of her peppergum but he still refused. ‘You’ll need something to eat if you’re coming back through my office,’ she reminded him.

He popped an aerosol out of his pocket and gave himself a quick squirt around the gums instead. Laurencia wrinkled her nose at the slightly odd smell.

‘No problem. It might not taste so good but will do the trick.’

They strolled on. Laurencia chewing her gum. Johhny with not a care in the world. The mid-day’s sun glare subdued by prisms from nearby roofs. Her digital gave a two minute warning. Time to get back to the office.

‘You’re not on a long dinner, are you, Johhny? Only I’ve got to get back.’

Johhny turned to her, held both her hands and looked into her eyes. His blue eyes willingly melted into hers.

He really was going romantic on me, she decided. Was I still on a promise?

‘Is your alien chum your only client today?’

‘Well...yes. But he might be all the afternoon yet.’

‘So finish with him early and we can go back my place. He can’t have much more to ask.’

‘I’m dependent on how much they need to know.’ She wrinkled my nose. ‘I’ll see what I can do. Maybe he’ll need all night to get it sorted out in his head...assuming he has one.’

They got a move on.

A toss-up now between a night of passionate shaggy, not to mention some of the afternoon with Johhny or seeing to an alien tourist. No contest really. The job always had to come first and the alien might enjoy his nap but she doubted if they’d want him cluttering up Alien Hall over night.

‘See you in a while, hon,’ Laurnencia told Johhny as she made my way back to her desk and linked in her translator for any updates.

The alien whateveritwas had snoozed the whole time. Jim waved as he passed Laurencia for his lunch. The cockroach lookalikes weren’t here. She checked across the board. Some of them had returned to their ship, the rest had decided to have a quick look around before deciding how long they would stay.

Must close my air vents in case they looked around at night, she decided. Every point was a decision these days.

Laurencia spat her gum into the bin and twiddled her thumbs with an internal reminder to chew a fresh piece later.

It’s said that some aliens can hear the snap of tendons but it didn’t apply to all. There was one alien where it took a high noise klaxon to wake and nearly ended up clearing the building before he woke.

She just hoped this one wasn’t one of those.

Yawning, the warning light on the board flicked on. It was running a scan. Having early lunch, Alien Hall was quiet and hers was the only outstanding alien unless any had arrived in the past half hour. A glance at the arrivals board confirmed that as a no.

I really must get some sort of protocol sorted out so we know what wakes aliens up, she decided. The bio-med wasn’t sure.

There! A slight shuffle.

‘Are you awake, sir?’ she asked in my best voice. ‘Do you have any more questions to ask? Thank you.’

The alien pulled his translator into himself and began gentle shaking. Maybe he was adding more questions that might have come up in his sleep mode.

‘No, sir, we haven’t had cannibalism for several centuries since some tribes found it unfashionable in the modern world except for a few deprived individuals or in an emergency isolated survival crash. Dr. Lector is not available to comment because he is a fiction. We provide a suitable menu at all our restaurants and we can no doubt provide something for your appetite. My species is not on the menu at any time. Bordoirs where I just ate has a wonderful selection on its menu. Humans are not an option there, neither. We don’t believe in feeding members of our species to hungry aliens. Soylent Green was a fiction. Thank you.’

And here was I thinking he was such a nice herbivore.

‘No, sir. Whoever gave you this information was in error. Bribery in such matters is considered an offence and a felony that would have your visa revoked and you would be asked to leave the planet at our convenience which would be as soon as possible. Thank you.’

I wonder who gave him that idea?

‘Tell me, sir, have you been in contact with our planet other than receive our broadcasts? You appear to be under some misapprehension about what we provide here. We regard cannibalistic zombies as a fiction. When we’re dead, we’re dead. We don’t turn into ready meals to be eaten by dead creatures or live aliens. Cremation is a convenience for space not to avoid becoming a meal option. It might have nothing to do with you but the person who provided such information is wrong. Was there anything else you were informed of, sir, that might have given you the wrong image of our delightful blue and green planet? Thank you.’

There was a pause as the alien considered what to say next.

Would he incriminate himself by just asking an honest question, reveal his benefactor or was he taken back to now being asked questions himself?

‘No, sir. If it’s an honest misunderstanding then the mistake is not yours although you would have to refrain from any practices that would be deemed inappropriate on planet. Thank you.’

Another long pause.

‘No, sir or madam. If you gave birth to children here they are not automatic citizens of Earth. We do not have the facilities to provide for them and you would be obliged to take them with you when you leave. They would still be restricted to the same dietary protocols as yourself and you would still be accountable for any transgressions and be asked to leave with a possible substantial fine should they be broken. They would still be obliged to the same conditions as yourself and human would definitely not be on the menu, cremated or otherwise. Such violation would result in all of you being ordered off-planet and no member of your species being permitted on our planet ever again. Thank you.’

Another pause. Hungry human-eating aliens are a fiction, aren’t they?

‘You were obviously misinformed, sir. We do not have a population problem that would allow our species to become a food aperitif for a growing alien population. Anything you might have seen to this effect would have been a fiction. We have fought off such incursions in the past in such situations. I must again ask you, sir, who gave you such erroneous information?’

How do you tell if an alien is agitated when there are no standards to base it on? They’re all so different.

Laurencia with a casual flick of her hand directed all the current conversations to central. A light flickered acknowledgement. Major incidents needed close observation to protect both parties, not just recorded for training purposes. Someone needed to watch beyond recording. The last thing they needed was for humans to get a bad reputation for not being helpful.

‘Thank you.’

Yet another pause. Whatever the alien’s thinking processes, even they must weigh up all the options. If he/she was pregnant then how long before the birth? Especially one with a hunger for possible human flesh.

Laurencia gave an involuntary shudder. Alone in Alien Hall, she was the only meal available. A recently fed one, too. The alien couldn’t have been so stupid to think it could get past Alien Hall without some scrutiny but to ask outright like that. Maybe it opened up because they were the only two left here. Something to consider for other informal chats. Then again, it had opened up far more without Jim being here.

She pressed the alert button again. Where was anyone?

‘Hi, gorgeous.’

It was Johhny!

‘Got a problem?’

‘What’s that, gorgeous?’

Gorgeous? Since when did Johhny call me ‘gorgeous’...even in work time? Always civil. Always Laurencia. Anyone he knew he called by their name to show he remembered them and they weren’t just a number in his little black book.

The central light was still flashing. No one home. This wasn’t Johhny’s shout. Did he take the bribe? She flicked the contamination button.

‘Yeah, Johhny. Our friend here want to know which black market to get a bottle of ouzo from? I said you might know.’

She looked up at him with beaming eyes. His award-winning smile that could win any favours was jaw-dropping as he thought. He was as slow as the alien. Johhny might not want to reveal such details in the middle of Alien Hall but his sharp wit would easily counter that aliens aren’t keen on ouzo even if they didn’t know the contents.

‘What’s that, gorgeous?’ he repeated.

If everyone back from early lunch been taken over, what was stopping them doing the same to me? Maybe that was why he wanted a shaggy tonight or this afternoon. To infect me except the last decent thing was a need to feed first. Now he was far gone. The dirty...

Laurencia reached into her bag and stuffed a peppergum in her mouth and began to chew. Real Johhny should have had a chew. Another thing to be added to the rulebook. Contaminate any possible meat source. Not doing so would ring alarm bells.

The alien and this Johhny lookalike might be able to understand the local language but scanty knowledge. No wonder he/she’d been asking so many questions on everything invadeable.

‘The black market across the road. Which shop did you buy it from?’

‘What’s that, gorgeous?’ he repeated again.

This was going to get monotonous. Seemed to be in a loop. Not my Johhny at all. Maybe he hadn’t taken a bribe? But he wasn’t him any more. Maybe the alien had duplicated hm. Some hope!

The alien seemed to be waiting for something. Laurencia studied her pad. Not even a question.

Maybe eggs would be too big a thing. Maybe it was spores. Maybe it was waiting for them to take effect and guess who’s peppermint breath it wouldn’t like.

Laurencia chewed ever more vigorously. The cool peppermint texture filling her mouth and heartily breathed it out into the room. She could only hope it was enough to keep whatever it was the alien was employing at bay.

‘What do you mean the vids never showed we liked that r988rgr9&^&^7@99$$$^00@@. Look through our adverts, we chew this gum for a pastime. It comes in many flavours. It’s used to keep out aliens who want to treat our planet as hosts for a breeding colony. Something that is laid down in our tourist charter that we do not allow. Damn right I don’t want to volunteer to become a meal and stop chewing to see if the effect wears off. Thank you.’

The alien began to waver with the pad in his presumed hand. Was he going to throw it down or ask another question?

‘Of course you didn’t come here to be insulted. You came of your own volition. That’s nothing to do with musical instruments or acts of violence. Volition means of your own free will. As such, it is within your own free will to vacate this planet before I release more peppermint fumes into this chamber which will ultimately kill you. It’s better than being escorted to your spaceship. We do not wish to have any more of your species visiting our planet. Thank you.’

‘What’s that, gorgeous?’ Johhny repeated yet again.

‘Can you release my colleague? I assume he didn’t know this would be the result of your bribery and egg-laying? Thank you.’

Another pause but not as long as usual, this time.

‘I think you should return to your spaceship now and take my colleague with you before he spores. I will inform his next of kin of his departure and death. Thank you.’

Poor Johhny Sped. There would be a need for a collection for my almost lover. An epitaph. He should have chewed his gum was the most I could come up with. Then again, as a supervisor he should have been above bribes. Should I let that be known?

‘Again, please inform other members of your species that they are not welcome to visit our planet by direct order of Earth Gov. Our Starfleet will be revived and sent after any incursions into our space in future. I lied before. We keep them in cold storage for such occasions. Thank you.’

The alien looked around. There must be eyes in his mass somewhere. By the entrance there were a couple of military waiting now. The message had got through. Both chewing gum. Second dinners were over.

‘You cannot appeal such a decision. We do not take kindly to being treated as food stock for you or your off-spring. Thank you.’

Resigned, the alien dropped the translator pad and walked or whatever to the entrance. Obviously, the peppermint was getting to him or he’d have remembered to take the pad with him.

Johhny followed calling, ‘What’s that, gorgeous?’

No doubt that he was brain-dead. How long ago had he been contaminated? Maybe it was that aerosol that did the final touch? Bordoirs would have to be decontaminated to be safe. Maybe he thought hunger pains came from the spores?

Laurencia looked into thin air. Not even daring to look around. The signal on her pad indicated purifiers were already cleansing the air. The strong smell of peppermint wafted through Alien Hall. No wonder the alien had a strong desire to leave.

Why change a cure that was effective? The alien whateveritwas gave in without even a sign of a fight in him. Even more so when the military were likely to slip a purifier into Johhny’s pocket as he followed the alien. It might not kill the alien before it was discovered but would certainly put the finishing touches to any off-spring and a sharp reminder that the Earth wasn’t a place to be toyed with. If its ship had an automatic pilot, its dead remains would be a sharp reminder to give Earth a wide berth to others of its species.

Jim Axa strolled in, hands in pockets, lips pursed. Obviously he’d read an external board.

‘You stopped our first alien invasion and I was out to lunch,’ was all he had to say as he sat down at his desk.

Laurencia threw half her packet of peppergum at him, ‘Don’t forget to carry some.’

‘Think this will destroy the tourist trade?’ he asked between chews.

‘Some hope,’ she replied. ‘We’ve shown we can deal with alien menaces with home-grown products. They gotta have respect for that.’

‘You angling for some promotion with Johhny gone?’

‘And miss all the excitement of this job?’

Some hope, she decided. She was too good at her job.

I stopped the first dangerous alien invasion on my own and not even a congratulations from above. Maybe they hadn’t stopped shaking yet. Maybe they were counting their blessings that I preferred a meal to a shaggy. Maybe they’ll listen to my suggestions for next time. Some hope. Thank you.

end

Laurencia Hope is © GF Willmetts 2010
all rights reserved