There are a few things that are noticeably disjointed about the uneventful sci-fi thriller White Noise. And that's quite a shame because this movie's premise had potential in terms of exploring its ambitiously surreal premise. When the set-up involves the afterlife and its entanglement with modern technology as a means of communicating to the inquisitive world then you're obviously expecting something worthy of an intriguing experimentation.

1 hour 40 minutes. Starring: Michael Keaton, Deborah Kara Unger, Chandra West, Ian McNeice, Nicholas Elia. Directed by: Geoffrey Sax.

There are a few things that are noticeably disjointed about the uneventful sci-fi thriller White Noise. And that's quite a shame because this movie's premise had potential in terms of exploring its ambitiously surreal premise. When the set-up involves the afterlife and its entanglement with modern technology as a means of communicating to the inquisitive world then you're obviously expecting something worthy of an intriguing experimentation. However, White Noise never rises to the occasion of tapping into its creatively creepy ideas in order to investigate its entertaining notion of the frightening curiosity it looks to exploit.

British television director Geoffrey Sax is at the helm of a vacuous vehicle that fails to expound on the mystique of two of life's most pondering afterthoughts: death and the progression of advanced technological devices. What could have been a wry commentary on the skepticism of our convoluted existence both on this planet and beyond the grave is botched for a staid mumble jumble movie that's nothing more than a sketchy 100-minute Twilight Zone episode. Hence, White Noise is a hollow horrorfest immersed in its own conjured-up clumsiness. Sax's thin-laced thriller is about as suspenseful as an overdue library book waiting to be returned.

White Noise is lacking the probing energy needed to stimulate its manufactured chills and thrills. But its insistence on revisiting the eerily flourishes that worked so well in superior frightfests such as The Ring and other demonic ditties of that ilk discredits whatever momentum it had going for it. Sax paces this stilted narrative with all the verve of a funeral procession. Granted the filmmaker wanted to capture the essence of the brooding proceedings but one cannot overcome the preposterous plotline being hindered by blurry images and incomprehensible spirits that are about as haunting as an expensive Beverly Hills facelift.

Michael Keaton, who has taken somewhat of a sabbatical from the big screen lately (sans the dreadful First Daughter), returns to the cinematic scene in a shoddy tale of terror concerning loss and disillusionment. Keaton plays architect Jonathan Rivers, a man that seemingly has it all. He's a professional middle-aged man that enjoys the sweet predicament of being married to a young babe-of-a-wife named Anna (Chandra West). Rivers also is a father to well-minded moptop Mike (Nicholas Elia). Overall, things couldn't be better in the Rivers household until that fateful day when tragedy strikes (hmmm…don't you hate when something like this always happens?).

While on a business trip, poor Anna succumbs to immediate death following a fatal accident. At around the same time that Anna perishes due to this freakish occurrence, Jonathan receives a cryptic message through his automatically operational radio where a fuzzy-sounding female voice mysteriously calls out his name in desperation. This happening, known as Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP), results in Jonathan strangely finding out his newfound status as a widower. More importantly, it introduces him to a whole new conceptual perspective involving his deceased wife's dealings on "The Other Side". Thus, the question remains: how can a rational individual such as Jonathan Rivers rely on the sensationalized rituals of EVP in order to stay in contact with his late precious love? Better yet, how can he afford not to invest in such a cynical practice?

Out of nowhere, expert EVP analyst Raymond Price (Ian McNeice) arrives and tries to convince Jonathan that Anna is reaching out to him from her "permanent resting place". Much like a spooky equivalent to Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Watson, Raymond and Jonathan start to research the subject matter of the EVP situation pertaining to Anna while gathering conclusive facts, etc. Because the men are getting too close for comfort in the work that they're doing, soon a penalty will be paid. This results in Raymond getting killed by the hostile spirits that weren't too thrilled by the EVP know-it-all invading their sacred territory.

Not taking the hint to back off after Raymond's demise, Jonathan boldly (if not foolishly) continues to delve into this forbidden project in his attempt to get to the bottom of this corrosive case. Insanely obsessed by keeping in touch with his beloved Anna, Jonathan sets up shop by creating an elaborate electronics communications panel where he can access the odd correspondences from the unknown. Of course the snippy spirits aren't going to take to Jonathan's persistence too lightly as he pushes to go where they don't want him to go. Along the way, Jonathan begins to receive all sorts of scattered responses from both the dead and the soon-to-be dead that need his attention in the worst possible way imaginable.

For the most part, White Noise will probably provide an occasional twitch here or there. Still, this is not acceptable for a movie that feebly embraces an exciting and challenging forethought and sloppily reduces it to just another formulaic boofest. Screenwriter Niall Johnson doesn't seem to reinforce the plot with much gusto that would lend this exposition its frothy distinction. Sadly, the script is very conventional and never reaches any kind of pliable perplexity reserved for competent horror films. Sax concocts a perfunctory piece of direction that lags on and on without any convincing ounce of stimulated urgency. Instead of satisfying the audience's puzzlement for the wayward science that is EVP and addressing the colorful belief of a "life-after-death" instance, White Noise simply becomes more exaggerated in its ridiculousness.

At best, White Noise is atmospheric and alarmingly numbing. The movie cannot overcome its somber skin and Sax trivializes the whole skin-crawling shebang by aimlessly serving up musical spurts to accompany the technical trickery that's the only surprisingly rousing element that gives this devious dud its spryness. As for Keaton's participation in this misguided monotone movie, he is totally wasted and we are never fully vested in his gradual anguish and self-motivating need to toy with forces that are inherently divisive. There's no sense of sympathy or shock when following Keaton's Jonathan Rivers into the self-destructive journey of despair and discovery. Invariably, Keaton's wooden performance is too distant and dull to identify with and basically adds unfavorably to the clunky dramatics that this flick wallows in so deeply.

In the long run, White Noise gives off a stultifying silence.

Frank Ochieng

(c) Frank Ochieng 2005