01/04/2009. Contributed by Jessica Martin
SFcrowsnest has had the new designs leaked for the TARDIS in the next season of Doctor Who. Yes, not only is Doctor Who getting a total Time Lord makeover in the form of boyish actor Matt Smith, but the Type 40 TARDIS gets a whole new look as its chameleon circuit briefly starts working again, only to become frozen in the shape of a super-loo.
In the first episode of the new Doctor Who TV series, entitled The Unearthly and the Malodorous, the Doctor with the boy-band good looks, Matt Smith, finds his time travelling vehicle's chameleon circuit becomes active again on the streets of Brighton, but when it's attacked with missiles launched by a half-submerged Sea Devil vessel, it freezes in its new shape - one of the UK's luxury public toilets... better known as a super-loo.
Ian Chesterton, the set designer for the new-look TARDIS told SFcrowsnest.com that, "We wanted to update the TARDIS to give it a look that would fit in anywhere. Given the proliferation of credit card-sized mobile phones throughout our modern society, the idea of a police phone box, or any sort of phone box for that matter, was clearly become an utter irrelevance to the modern listening audience."
Ian rubbed his hands with glee when he recalled the BBC's Eureka moment. "We sat down and decided to think out of the box. What's the one thing that everyone needs to do at least a couple of times a day, irrespective of whether you're on Skaro or Gallifrey? What would blend in on any planet and still be as small as a phone box? Then it hit us. A toilet! A super-loo!"
Of course, the new Doctor is horrified with his vessel's new look and tries to change it back, but the only repair he can make to its chameleon circuit is to get the signage, advertising and toilet icon on the exterior of the super-loo to correctly update to blend in with the planet the new-look TARDIS is currently visiting.
Ian explained, "We wanted to do something similar to the Simpsons cartoon series, where each episode during the opening credits there's a different scene on the couch in front of the television set, while Bart scrawls a unique line of the teacher's blackboard. In our new Doctor Who series, every time the TARDIS lands on a planet, we'll pan in on the front of the TARDIS shell and show a new icon for the world's ruling native series. We anticipate a great frisson of excitement when we show a little unisex Dalek symbol, or a female and male Zygon."
The reaction among Dr Who fans to this news is best described as savage.
Andrew Adams, the British dwarf actor who played K9 in the Sarah Jane Adventures described the move to SFcrowsnest.com as both "potty" and "complete blooming pants."
Add SFcrowsnest.com daily news updates to your own web site or blog - just cut and paste the code below...
Stephen Hunt's novels - USA