The Divine Comedies: Here Comes The Sun & Odds And Ends by Tom Holt

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The Divine Comedies: Here Comes The Sun & Odds And Ends by Tom Holt
pub: Orbit. 614 page slightly enlarged paperback. Price: £ 8.99 (UK) and $18.99(CAN). ISBN: 1-84149-145-4

check out website: www.orbitbooks.co.uk

Here Comes the Sun

'Because of entropy,' he continued, 'work sort of frays at the edges. Bits come loose and fall off. These in turn become random particles of disorientated matter, possessing momentum not direction...'
'Ah,' Jane said. 'You mean auditors.'

What happens when a mere mortal gets involved in some heavy administration for the masters of the universe? Well some major rationalisation for starters.

This re-issue of two of Tom Holt's earlier novels is a timely one with a dearth of decent laughs around. In this one, he takes a pop at the Civil Service, religion and the importance of always knowing your own mind and checking it for unauthorised entry.

Reality is just a bowl of cherries or, in this case, a well run pizza parlour. Our mortal is Jane, a sensible girl who just needs to change her job, as life is getting a little dull. A character called Ganger approaches Jane and asks her to consider an entirely different career move.

Given certain tasks she applies herself with determination and is soon solving all sorts of problems that those in charge would rather she left alone. After she's cleared up the Department of Star-Crossed Lovers by uncrossing them all, the skies the limit or, in this case, the sun.

She comes into her own when a joyrider takes off with the sun by suggesting a diversion while they endeavour to get a new one made. The diversion is the biggest-ever car boot sale that is so successful it pays for the brand new sun!

There are some perfectly marvellous conceits as intricately bound-up as the star-crossed lovers. This story is just hugely inventive and highly amusing. Most of it is driven by dialogue as one character explains something to another but it just drives along sometimes overtaking on the inside in its rush to get ahead.

His sharply observed dialogue and the desire to think round corners and u-bends distinguish Holt's books. He has the ability to make the reader laugh out loud and should be treasured.

Odds and Gods

'It's apple crumble again today,' said Sandra cheerfully. 'You like apple crumble.'

Osiris sighed. 'Sandra pet', he said, 'I'm an omniscient god. Lying to me is the proverbial hiding to nothing. I can't abide bloody apple crumble.'

When the old gods retire they must go somewhere. In this case it is Sunnyvoyde, the Old Folks Home from Hell. Here they are ruled over by an iron-gloved matron, Mrs Henderson, who insists they eat up their rice pudding.

There is a breakout by Osiris when he believes his Godson Julian wants to take over the family business. He is variously helped by Sandra the nurse, her mother in Wolverhampton, Carl her boyfriend and Kurt Lundqvist, the assassin hired by Julian who will not kill immortals.

Pan, the god who cannot afford to retire, and therefore takes on corporate work also does his best to aid him.
Together they survive an attempted exorcism by the whole of the Vatican and are determined to fight back.

Other unwitting escapees are Thor, Odin and Frey who after many years have finally got their traction engine working and are going to tour the country. Their lack of geographical accuracy leads them to believe they are over Droitwich and they crash-land into the courtyard of the Vatican allowing Osiris an escape route.

It all gets a little over complex towards the end but there are characters to be savoured, particularly the Australian Dragon King of the South East who is very keen to give Kurt his three wishes.

'Fair go sport, looks to me unless you have some help smartish, you're gonna be history. You sure about this?'

'Yes positive. Bugger off.'

Julian, the Godson of Osiris, desirous of moving to the head of the firm. He mistakenly hires Kurt Lunqvist only to find out that he has ethics unlike his would-be employer, a lawyer (as was Holt in his previous incarnation!)...

'I don't kill Gods. I'm the good guy, dammit...I sort out the bad guys, that's what I do. Talking of which, the only thing standing between you and reincarnation under a flat stone is professional ethics...and I wouldn't rely on that too much.'

As a double pack these stories are good value for money and the opportunity to try a different author. Out of the two, I preferred 'Here Comes the Sun' perhaps because the main character was, for a change, a woman, but both offer plenty of laughs in a world where they are needed.

Enjoy!

Sue Davies

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